crash at christmas!
by xXLaceyLovrrRawrDinosaurXx
Summary: lacey racoon is an outcast can she find acceptance with crash n his friends or maybe with cortex? read on to find out but no flames please i worked really hard on this.
1. Chapter 1

a/n: i worked really hard on this story people so i hop u like it. i'm thinking of maybe after im done sending it 2 naughty dog so they cn be inspyred (lol get it like spyro the draggon) to mak a new crash game and mayebe they can use my characture. i don't think the crash universe has enuff girls so i think lacey would be grate ! i'v tried not to make her a marysue but please let me no what u think of the story but be nice.

thanks to my cousin for checkin ma fic 4 speling mistakes, i'm not very gud at english but that didn't stop jk rowling lol burn xxxx

it was a cold but really nice day in december in austrailia where crash and his friends lived. there was lots of snow about and polar was leaping around all happy. cortex and his team even took a christmas holliday, they were on a fishing trip to catch food for xmas diner so u cud see their little boat out to see. tropy had on his ice skates as the water was frozen, and he was doing his little dance routine til suddenly he ran over somethin. there was lots of blood n tropy stopped wit his hart in his throat coz he thougt he killed a person n out of all the n doctors hes probly the nicest. he picked up one half of the thing he ran ova it was a raccoon legs n tale.

"HAY HAY GUYS GUYS" screamed tropy.

"WHAT" sed brio "WE ARE GETTING HUNGRY IT'S TIME WE HAD FOOD NOW!" he drank a posion to calm down.

so brio took out a box of worm sanwiches or whatever evil sientists eat and tropy stopped to eat 1 and really liked it as brio was a dam fine cook but after he finish and swallow he sed LOOK i ran ova dis raccooon

"i dunno i'd prefer turky" said n. gin

"OOOH GIMME THAT" said cortex "I could do wiv sumat lik that 4 my new expiermnet. can u find da other half please tropy" he was all grabby hands

"what do i look like ur slave" tropy grimbled.

but anyway tropy pickd up a raccoon head n some other bits not 2 far away it was very pretty. "aaawww" sed tropy "if u dnt survive i will stuff da head n put it on th wall".

LATER

they then arrive bak at corsex castle, n cortex put the bits of the raccooon into his new machine. this is called the awesomeotron it makes animals cum bak to life so den cortex can do more stuff with them. tropy was a bit grumpy cuz he wanted the ed on da wall bt even he was curios as 2 what could happn.

DEN

SUDNLY

crahs bandicoot cum thru the window n hit cortex n den aku aku cum in and sed EVERYONE DESTROY THE CASTLE cotrex's machine comets unspeakable evil. the machin was about to beep wiv da raccoon cumin back to lif but crash spinned it n then a human women fell in frm one of cortex's cages n then the machine buzed n rockited around wile the woman screamed like something out of final destination (a/n i love that film i hope i die interestingly one day). coco bnadicoot gasped n leapt behind her brother to hide. then the raccoon flue out all put bak together but pale n gothic looking with some human looking features.

she was really pale n a bit motheaten cause she had been dead. there was some stitches round her anlkes and rists and neck where cortex had sewn her back up for the macihne. she had on this really nice long dress with cleavage kinda like the one misa amane wears in death note nd had pierced ears n black hair with some silver streaks cause she inherited it from her raccoooness. her tail was kinda silver n black too but faded to dark purple. she opened her eyes, they were bright and gold, n stood up on two legs.

"what has happened" she sed in kind of a british accent

"OMG your machine works!" sed n fin to cortex who was all agape.

"lets go" sed coco n she tried to take hold of the raccoon woman's hand but the raccoon refused and leapt out of the window leaving a trial of black glitter bhind and a note-thing of her face like sky cooper does wen he steals something.

END OF CHAPTER 1 i hope you like it there will be more soon!


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: well guys i couldn't wait! hehehe so i wrote some more. thanx again to my cousin who red the first bit of it and helped me with spellin and stuff but then she had 2 go to somewhere so maybe she can read rest wen she gets back? hehehehe hint ;)

~~~~~~~~~chapter 2~~~~~~~~~~~

so cortex n the others had a cup of tee and a chat.

"OMG cortex i cant believe your machine worked" said n gin again.

"i know it's grate", said cortex, "i now have a new plan to put into action!"

"what" said tropy who was eating biscuits n still wanting a stuffed heed for his wall.

"im gonna capture lots of humans and lots of animals n chop dem up and put bits in the machine to make furries just like that one" lauged cortex. "lots of people like furies so i will sell them and be rich and take over the world."

"wow that's a fuccin great idea" said uka uka (a/n: he's really bad so he swears ok)

"but first we have to fix the machine", said tropy. "it mite have created a furry but it broke the machine so we would have to change it a bit"

"ok ok ok" said cortex grumpily and got up to go get more cake from the kitchen

"what shed we do about the raccoon girl" said n gin spraying crumbs all over uka uka

"go and get her!" corsex bellowed. "i want er for miself!"

AT THE BANDICOOT HOUSE

the raccoon lended outside and the bandicoots and aku aku catch up to her

"hey!" sed coco "do you want to come in for a talk"

"okay" said the raccoon but didnt meet cocos eyes she was too busy takin in her surroundings.

coco unlocked the door and everyone came in. crash got out some bottles of pop n then aku aku said "what is your name my child"

"i dont have a name" sed the raccoon girl and a loan tear of blood roled down her face.

"I NO, FOOL" sed crunch who came out of nowhere "I SHALL CALL YOU LACY"

lacey looked at crunch and his mussels and her humanish body kinda went all hot and sweaty.

"y lacy" she asked

"bcos of your dress" crunch laffed.

"oh, i see" lacey smiled n took a sip of her pop it tasted like wumpa. "i like the name lacey."

"good!" said crunch "maybe we can all go out surfin in a bit"

"CRUNCH" said coco in a boring voice "i don't fink that lacey should go out just yet she's only just been made and those stitches need to heal" she pointed at lacey's wrists and ankles and neck.

"PFFPFPFPFPFFFF" said crash "she'll be alright! yahoo!"

so after they finished their pop and had some strawberry n lattice sanwiches they all headed out to the sea.

BACK AT CORTEX CASSLE

cortex n the others prepaired their flying mashine and took off. brio was dangling off a wire from the blimp ready to grab lacey as she surfed on the sea. but lacey managed to dodge brio's grabby hands and avoided cortex's gun. aku aku consentrated on getting crash and coco and crunch back into the house while lacey grabbed coconuts and chucked them at brio. he fell off. "AAAAAAAGH"

"BRIO I'M CUMMING" said cortex. he leapt out of the blimp and landed in the sea and swum around getting brio who couldn't swim and was nearly drowning. tropy took advantage of all the hubbubb and jumped off the blimp and squished lacey with his clock.

"I'VE GOT YOU NOW, YOU RIDICULOUS LITTLE VERMIN" said tropy as he handcuffed lacey and took her on the blimp. inside the house coco and crash wept as they watched their new frend being taken away.

END OF CHAPTER 2. i'm really proud of this guys please r&r there is a lot more plot twists to cum!


	3. Chapter 3

~~~~~~chapter 3~~~~~~~

so lacey was taken back to the blimp. tropy was laughing all evilly nd lacey tried to kick him in the groin but he cocked her.

"you got her!' screamed n gin who was on the blimp with a very wet brio and crotex.

"yes" said tropy "i have her and she will be cortexs bride lets get her a dress and you, n brio, you can make the wedding buffet. maybe she can borrow one of ur dresses n gin"

"YAY" said n brio who really liked to cook

"hmmf" said n gin who was shoter and fatter than her.

lacey took a good look at the 1 they called cortex. he was a bit old n he had a rly big head and stuff but maybe he would luv her. as a raccoon nobody luved her because she was jus too pretty. so maybe now her life would improv but she really loved crunch too. even tho she didnt rly get to know him there was somethin abut the way he mad her feel.

"cum on" sed n gin pulling on lacey's tail "let's find u a dress then".

"ugh" sed lacey "can i get to no my new groom first"

"i suppose" sed cortex who in all onesty wanted to go and do some more sciency stuff but guessed that if he wanted to sleep wiv this hott girl n marry her then they mite as well talk.

LATER

"want to ask me any questions i suppose u can" said cortex tiredly.

"sure" sed lacey. she den saw a big green tree in the middle of the room n it had lites on it and decorations in the shape of the n team's heads (a/n: i want them for my christmas tree) n also some choccies and candles.

"why is there a tree in the blimp n y does it look like that" sed lacey

"hav u heard of christmas" sed cortex gesturin to the blimp's massiv tree.

"no" sed lacey "what is it"

"it's basically a tim for people to giv presents to each odder" sed cortex

"rly? wat kind of presents" shed lacey.

"hmmmmm well like chocolate n socks and scaves and stuff" said cortex frustratedly. "dont racconns do that sort of thing"

"no lol we're raccoons and enyway my family HATES ME" said lacey n wept teerz down her faec. some of them splashed onto her clevage n cortex noticed, sexily.

but cortex then legit felt bad for her becoz his own famly had hatted him. "oh no" he said softly.

"yeh" said lacey drying her teears "but maybe i can celebrate christmas with u?"

"sure!" sed cortex "u know wat let's make this the g-damn best christmas ever"

they got off the blimp and into the castle. lacey had only just sat down when n gin then ran in from the blimp with a dress n ejacumalacted "i think this will fit u".

it was a gothic lolita dress from japan like in deth note and rozen maiden-ish, n gin had nicked it from a tourist but he couldnt fit into it cuz he was a man lol.

lacey got undressd and put it on. she didnt get the concpt of being nekkid so cortex and n gin got really flustered and she didn't know why but she put the dress on n it was really pretty.

"oh it suits you!" sed cortex. "i am happy to have u be mi wife. i wonder what brio is doing." so they went down a secret passageway to the kitchen were there was a big smell.

n tropy watched jealously from the door. he didn't think it before but this raccoon girl was really quite charming he thot to himself.

BACK AT THE BANDICOOT HOSE

"we have to get lacye back!" screamed coco while drinking her coco.

"yeah" sed crunch who was trying to think of a plan. crash slept on the floor fitfully. aku aku floated about protectin the house from cawtex.

"I NO" sed coco "if i get my computer i can try n hack into cortexs computer n see what hes doin"

she got her laptop n did some stuff then she came across cortexs internet history. amongst all the porn n the occasional evil scneintist forum and crash playstaton walkthroughs, she found stuff for WEDDINGS.

"wat is cortex lookin at weddings for" crunch laffed. "he is still a virginal".

"mmmmm" said aku aku "well tropy took lacey maybe cortex is best man and is planning a wedding for dem"

"GASP" said everyone

"but no cortex cant marry tropy and lacey cuz they ae diferent species" sed coco.

"do u think that stopped n gin fancying u" said crunch grinning.

coco groned n crunch laghed HAHAHAHA.

"so what do we do" sade aku aku. "last time worked should we just crash in"

"yeah" sed crunch "we'll crash in and get lacey".

they had dinner first and waited until nightfall and then started 2 put their plan into action ...

END OF CHAPTER 3


	4. Chapter 4

~~~~~~~chapter 4~~~~~~~

CORTEX CASTLE

"well" sed cortex after their dinner "why wait? brio has made the buffet and you have a dress; lets get married tomorrow".

"okay" seed lacey who was pickin her teeth with a boner.

"grrrr" sed trophy who was washing up in the other room. why shold cortex get all the fun. he wanted some sexy times with a cute raccoon thing too. he went into cortexs lab while the happy cupple were talkin in the living chambers and got a raccoon out of a cage and another human triblesperson out of her cage and put them in the machine.

what trope didn't know whas that the machine was still borked. the machine trembled and rattled and tropy went to get a cup of tea while it did its work. the machine then ROOOAAARREDD and spat out the creation thing which landed in the kitchen at tropys feet. the machine then (because it was broken) it set itself on fire. troopy creamed and threw it out the window n it landed on coco and crash who were climin the walls to crash into cortex castle. they screamed loudly AAAAAAAAHHHHH and were crushed by the machine on fire. aku aku tried to get dem but it was too late!

tropy looked round and found the creaton on the floor of the kitchen. unfortunately it had becom a human with a raccoon body not the other way round. tropy gapped in horror at the human face on a raccoon body and the thing snarled and snapped at his ankles and then skuttled under the counter.

"i can't hav sum slap and tickle wiv that!" tropy yelled madly and ran to his room.

IN THE LIVING CHAMBERS

"hey did you hear sumfin" said lacey.

"ye kinda" said cortex, cussing out tropy for being so loud in the kitchen. "oi tropy don't be so loud!"

"there's somethin under the counter!" sed tropy from upstairs

"UGGGHHHH fine very well maybe it's crash bandicoot" said cortex. he presed a button and pinstrip potoroo came out of the wall and ran towards the kitchen like a football player. imagine his confusion when it was a human-faced raccoon lol!

AT THE BOTTOM OF CORTEX CASTLE TOWER

it had started to rein. sad music played in the cackground. crunch arrived at the graves of crash and coco (aku aku buryed them earlier) n clenched his fist n roared to the sky "I SHALL AVENGE YOUUUUUU!"

END OF CHAPTER 4


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